Kagome's Revenge
by LadyReinaOftheWest
Summary: What would happen if Kagome got tired of all the guys in her life being stupid? Rating is just a precaution for later chapters. Reviews needed to feed the Muse :D
1. Chapter 1

Kagome's Revenge

By LadyReina

Disclaimer- I do Not own InuYasha or any of its' characters (Sniffle) If I did I would own Sesshomaru and Miroku and keep them tied to my bed. :D I make 0 monies from this story.

Summery- What would happen if Kagome got tired of all the guys in her life being stupid?

Warning- There will be gender changes, Harsh language and the possibility of wet pants from laughing to hard.

"Kaaagooomeeeeeee!" Whined Shippo.

"Yes Shippo?" Sighed Kagome 'Here we go again.' She thought. "Can I have some candy?" he looked at her with puppy eyes.

"After dinner you can." she told him. "But, Kagoooomeeeee. I want some NOWWWWW." pouted Shippo.

"After dinner Shippo" "Pleeeeaasseeee" he begged.

"No Shippo, and if you ask again you won't get any then either." she told him sternly.

This is how the entire day had been. First it started with InuYasha waking them up before the sun had even risen completely, and rushing them all the way through their quickly eaten breakfast. Then he complained nonstop about being slowed down by weak humans after Sango was forced to knock Miroku out when he rubbed her butt. Then only after only a hour of walking Shippo started bugging her for candy. She knew that if Miroku touched her butt one more time she was going to hit him so hard that it would take him a week to recover from it.

"HENTAIIII" screamed Sango followed by a loud smack. "Keep your hands to yourself Monk"

"But dearest Sango, you had an insect on your lovely posterior" he replied.

"That's a load of crap and you know it, you used that excuse yesterday and I swear to you right now if you touch me again, so Kami help you, I WILL make sure that no woman will ever be able to bare you any children." she pulled out her sward and pointed it at him.

Miroku gulped. " Y..y...yes Sango."

"Good boy" she sighed and put it away again.

She then sped up to walk along side Kagome. Whispering she said "I wasn't joking. He touches me again and I'll chop his favorite body part off and feed it to him."

"Ah come on Sango." Kagome giggled. "You know one day you might favor that body part yourself."

Blushing madly Sango lightly smacked Kagome on the arm. "Oh hush! Don't let him hear you say that. It might give him ideas, then where will my threat be?"

"Hmm. Good point" Kagome nodded.

Just then InuYasha stiffened. "Oy! Wench your boyfriend is coming." InuYasha taunted.

"Sit boy! I don't have a boyfriend InuYasha!" she yelled at the Inu shaped crater. Sensing jewel shards quickly approaching she sighed. "Kouga"

No sooner had the word left her mouth, her hands were captured between two rough, dirty hands.

"How's my woman doing today? Is dog breath taking good care of you?" Kouga asked.

"Kouga, I'm not..." she started

"Wolf turd! What have I told you about touching her?" InuYasha growled.

"InuYa..." she started again

Letting go of her hands Kouga turned to him.

"What have **I **told YOU about MY woman mutt." he countered

"She ain't YOUR woman, ya stupid wolf." InuYasha yelled

"BULL SHI..." Kouga started

"SIT BOY! Kouga as much as I enjoy seeing you and all ,but we are in a bit of a hurry. I am going home for a few days." Kagome pacified.

"Well since MY woman asked so nicely. I'll let you continue, I know how important your 'skewl' work is to you." he said

"Thank you Kouga" she smiled

He quickly hugged her and turned to InuYasha. "Later dog boy, take care of my woman. I'll be coming back for her soon." he said and took off leaving a cloud of dust hanging over the hole containing InuYasha.

Jumping up from his spot on the ground InuYasha stormed over to stand in front of Kagome.

"Why do you always have to encourage him by flirting with him?" he accused.

"I wasn't flirting, I was being nice InuYasha." she said while turning red

"Feh. If that was true then why ya blushing?" he teased

Getting angry she said "I'm not blushing! I'm getting angry, and you better stop InuYasha."

Snickering he continued, oblivious to the warning. "Yeaaa. Sure you are."

"You know what, I think you need to go over there and SIT down and think about the difference, and while you are at it. I think we will SIT over here and have lunch. When you are done SITTING over there, you can come SIT with us and eat the lunch that we cooked while SITTING by the fire." she ranted looking down into the now 4 foot deep hole InuYasha made from all the sits she just gave him.

Stomping away she turned to her dropped bag, pulling out several packets of ramen, a pot, and some of the last fire logs she brought from home.

"Shippo, can you take Miroku and get some water for our lunch?" she asked sweetly.

"But why can't he get it himself?" Shippo whined again.

Getting angry again she said "Because Shippo he can't smell the water."

"I don't want to goooo. My feet hurt." he pouted

"Shippo if you don't help you won't get any lunch" she told him, looking at Sango she smiled.

"I'll get some firewood for the food." Sango offered

"Thanks" she smiled gratefully

"Come Shippo, let's go get the water if we want to eat soon." Miroku said and him and Shippo walked away.

Trying to avoid Kagome's already short temper they managed to have an uneventful lunch and continued walking. Later that evening just as they were setting up camp for the night InuYasha jumped down from the tree he was hiding in.

Looking up Kagome watched him as he quietly left camp.

'Where is he off to?' she wondered to herself.

Reaching into her bag she grabbed some pajamas and went to a nearby bush to change for the night. Walking back to camp she stretched and looked up at the stars. 'Ah. I see' she thought sadly. Laying down in her sleeping bag she turned away from the fire and from where she knew InuYasha would come back to camp

Sango looked to Miroku confused, silently he pointed up. Looking to the sky Sango saw the last few of Kikyo's soul collector disappear. 'Ah' she said to herself laying down in her own sleeping bag. Miroku just leaned more comfortably against his tree and tried to clear his mind.

Just as everyone was slipping off to sleep Kagome cuddled Shippo closer and wiped and angry tear from her cheek.

A/N- Hey everyone please R&R and I apologize now for any spelling errors and slow updating


	2. Chapter 2

**Kagome's Revenge**

**Chapter 2**

**Three Days Later**

Even 3 days later Kagome's temper hadn't dissipated. Shippo had been whining even more. He actually threw a fix last night when Kagome and Sango didn't cook his favorite type of fish. Then he refused to go to bed until he got some candy. Kagome had to threaten to ground him from any candy at all for a month just to get him to lay down.

She rubbed her temples while walking. Just thinking about it was giving her another headache. InuYasha hadn't been any help, every time Shippo got anywhere near him, he hit him and then Kagome had to deal with a crying and whining Shippo all over again.

"You ok Kagome?" Sango whispered. "Yeah, just annoyed at how stupid they are being." she said

"I know, it's getting on my last nerve too." Sango said with a furious glance at the boys. "I wish there was some way we could make them understand how immature and childish they are being." she continued.

"InuYasha!" Kagome called. "What Wench?" he answered.

"Is there any cold water nearby?" she asked

"Feh, I ain't stoppin so you can waste even more time."

"I just want to refill the water bottles InuYasha, it won't take more than 5 or 6 minutes" she pleaded

"Fine, there is one up ahead." he conceded. "but you better make it quick. I smell demons coming this way."

Looking up in surprise "I can't sense any shards." she told him.

"Feh, I would be surprised if you did. Its' my stupid half- brother, and his pack."

'I wonder why Sesshomaru is bringing his entire pack with him?' Kagome thought to herself 'He must not want to fight, if he's' bringing Rin.' she sighed happily in relief.

"Whatcha grinning about Wench? Got a crush on my brother now too?" InuYasha jeered.

"SIT BOY!" Kagome exclaimed. "I was just thinking about seeing Rin again, she is such a happy little girl." she explained.

Neither one of the girls were paying any attention to Miroku who had walked up behind them both. "Do not concern yourselves with Lord Sesshomaru ladies, I shall protect you." he said.

"Hentai!" they both yelled and Miroku fell to the ground with a hand print on both cheeks.

"My dears, whatever was that for?" he asked rubbing both cheeks.

Sango and Kagome each glanced at the other and replied together. "We know you."

As they continued walking the boys followed behind slowly. Miroku because he could see Sango fingering her sword again, and InuYasha because he didn't want to be sat again. He had landed eye first on a rock and was now sporting a large black eye. Shippo was laughing too hard to keep up.

Ten minutes later they were at the river, the guys had gathered firewood and were starting a fire. While the girls filled up the water bottles and cleaned the two rabbits that InuYasha had caught for dinner.

"Kagooomeeeee!" they heard a happy squeal come from above them. Kagome turned around just in time to catch the laughing little girl in her arms.

"Rin!" Kagome laughed. "What are you doing here?"

"Umm. Lord Sesshomaru brought Rin. Rin doesn't know why." she said while smiling. "but Rin is happy to see Kagome again. Can Rin and Shippo play together again Kagome?"

"Sure, just keep close. We wouldn't want to lose you guys."

"Yay! Come on Shippo!"

She watched the children run to a nearby field of flowers. Turning to Sesshomaru she bowed to him.

"Lord Sesshomaru" she greeted.

"Hn" was his reply.

"To what do we owe this pleasure Lord Ice sickle?" InuYasha sneered. "You're not getting Tetsusaiga."

"Silence half breed, this Sesshomaru did not come for father's fang, this time. I require the Miko."

"The hell you do!" InuYasha yelled.

"Sit boy. What do you require of me Lord Sesshomaru. I must know before I can agree to help you." Kagome stated

Jumping up ran to stand in front of Kagome. "You're not going anywhere with this bastard Kagome."

"Do not make this Sesshomaru repeat himself half breed."

Stepping around InuYasha, Kagome whispered. "Chill InuYasha, let's find out what he wants before you start fighting."

To Sesshomaru she says, "And I repeat. What do you require of me Lord Sesshomaru."

"This Sesshomaru needs to speak to you privately Miko." and he turned around and walked into the forest.

"Kagome, you're not actually going to follow him are you?" asked a concerned Sango.

"It may be the only way to find out what he wants Sango, I think I have to follow him." she replied nervously.

"At least take your bow with you" Sango pleaded

"I don't think that would be such a good idea Sango. If I was to take a weapon then he might take it as disrespect. He hasn't offered us any violence yet, and he said that he wasn't here for the Tetsusaiga." Kagome explained

"Feh, I'm not going to let you go in there alone wench."

"If you follow me then I will S.I.T you to the lowest pits in Hell, InuYasha." she threatened.

Ignoring the shocked looks on her friends' faces she proceeded to follow Sesshomaru into the forest. Stretching out her senses she located him 10 yards ahead of her. When she was closer she stopped, not wanting to get to close just in case he decided to become violent.

"Lord Sesshomaru" she acknowledged.

"Miko" he nodded.

"What did you wish to speak to me about?" she asked wearily

"This Sesshomaru needs you to teach Rin." he spoke so low that Kagome found herself leaning in to hear him better.

"Teach Rin? What would I have to teach her My Lord?" she wondered

"Hn. This Sesshomaru has discovered that Rin is coming to the age, to where she needs to learn how to be a proper lady. Rin is quickly becoming marriageable. This Sesshomaru believes that you are the most suitable human to teach Rin, human relations and mating practices."

"M..m...mating practices?" Kagome stuttered. "You want me to teach her about sex?"

"Yes Miko, that is what This Sesshomaru said." he said quietly

'Oh boy' Kagome thought. 'This is going to be interesting.'

Out loud she said. "Agreed, and in return for this what will Lord Sesshomaru offer me?" she asked

"This Sesshomaru will help you defeat that disgusting half breed known as Naraku." he offered

"How will you do that My Lord?"

"This Sesshomaru will travel with your group to monitor your teachings to Rin, and will remain until the half breed is destroyed."

"Acceptable. I accept your request. With one request of my own." she told him

"Hn" was the only answer she got.

Taking that as a signal to continue she said "I want you to help gather jewel shards."

"Hn" was his reply

"Thank you Lord Sesshomaru." she bowed then turned to head back to camp.

Upon returning to camp, everyone looked at her with questions burning in their eyes. Knowing that she wouldn't get any sleep until she told them something, she says simply.

"Tomorrow, I'll tell you tomorrow. For now I have a lot to think about." Grabbing a piece of rabbit she ate it slowly while staring at the fire. When she was finished she pulled out her sleeping bag and crawled into it falling asleep rather quickly, for the day was a stressful one.


End file.
